I would like it to criticize me for needing to do it, at all.

Maybe someone prayed for it to be bullet proof and Big Papa had no say in it?

Are you drinking your kin’s blood and tears?

My modded original Xbox was magical. Rent a game from Hollywood Video, rip it straight to the Xbox hard drive, return it.

Please don’t tell her you beat me or she’ll do the same.

Maybe start a charity and raise money that way?

There’s no way an 80 year old woman has the life experience to compare to a 300-1,000 year old elf. There’s an inherent power discrepancy.

Also immortal. And hypersexual.

You’d think these guys would know how to open a private Firefox tab.

We don’t know their mind. We don’t know their kind. Dark necessities are part of their design.

Seems like it’d be easier and more honest to have it just kill the parents.

He exposes people to chemical sludge every time he enters a room.

Or a Shark Tank-style infomercial product. “It’s The Orphanizer, From Ronco!”

“Maybe learn about fucking polar bears before you comment on them, idiot.”

He’s pasty white, but one of his personalities is black.

Also, hair stylists really should be more specific. You said you style hair, suddenly there’s a difference!?

The company said in its blog post that the problem began in late February, but it has since been able to compensate for the lost data to some extent by modifying its algorithm.

Because that’s what people are worried about: THE LOST DATA.

Yes, those are all major contributors, though some of them overlap.

Hopefully that leg break was a severe one.

For every you, there’s a woman who feels compelled to pet me because of my beard. I’ll take that trade-off.