Negative. I am a meat popsicle.

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  • 299 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: March 20th, 2024

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    1. Buy the Stihl gas-powered leaf blower. Dont be a dummy and skimp on the CFM, buy the nice $700 one. Note the size of the opening whence flows the air.

    2. Visit your local grocer or produce stand and acquire some appropriately sized oranges, with a diameter to not quite overmatch the measurement from Step 1.

    3. Cram the orange in said opening and aim at the nearest wayward teen.

    4. Depress the trigger in an aggresssive manner. This is key. You do NOT want to half-ass it. Jam that fucker all the way down.

    5. Shoot some trees now so you can enjoy making marmelade-flavored havoc in peace; the teens having fled in panic.







  • Higgs boson@dubvee.orgtoFunny@sh.itjust.worksAccurate
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    18 days ago

    I could only dream of rocking that look she has going on. Although I am roughly twice her size, I would still not want to rely on a machete for anything more intensive than clearing a campsite. I do have one just like hers, for such an occasion. For more serious social purposes, though, I prefer a ranged attack.

    In her case, the ensemble and melee weapon seem more about her own empowerment and signaling she isnt in the mood for any bullshit. It sucks that she feels like that shit is necessary. As a girldad who grew up in the Full House era, I sympathize and hope she can feel (and be) safe.