We mostly laughed about it after I explained what I was doing

Had an ingrown hair on my taint. Mom walked in to find me standing on the bathroom counter, balls pulled up, leaned back against the wall behind me, and squeezing it. She thought I was fingering my ass lmao

US south. Weed eater or weed whacker, but the second is much less common. It’s also the name of the thing you’re doing. You use the weed eater to go out weed eat the yard

Ooh, I’ll try that one. Tbh, nuke isn’t said for the funny. It’s just what it was called when I was a kid. I never really considered it as a term until I was well into adulthood lol

Generally “nuke it” but occasionally zap make an appearance, microwave as a verb, and sometimes me-crow-wa-vay if I’m feeling extra

I don’t have a strong opinion one way or the other. But I do have a fun story!

When my mom was pregnant with my older brother, they had a phone repair guy at the house. She was going through a book of baby names and trying to pick one, while her husband was yelling from the other room that his name would be the same as his (we’ll go with John for the example and privacy).

Husband: (yelling) his name will be John, same as me!

Mama: no! I will not do that! He’d be a junior, I’m not naming my son Junior like some redneck!

Husband: it’s not a redneck name! You don’t have to call him junior, call him john!

Mama: no, it’s trashy! It’s a white trash name and I’m not doing it! I want him to be able to read, not learn how to make moonshine out of an old radiator!*

*That one’s an actual direct quote

Phone repair guy: turns around I need something from the truck.

Mama looks up and notices his name tag. Junior.

Dude left, got in his truck, and drove away. Sent someone else out the next day to fix the phone

Don’t forget BFE. The sticks are almost always right about halfway between BFE and YouGottaPurdyMouth

That’s nothin’, can’t beat my signed first draft of the Mahabharata, before it was ever even sent to an editor!

🎶🕺🎶🥴🥃👓🍻👨🏻➡️🏠🛏️🍆🍑🌄🕦🚪🚖⏳⏳⏳☎️👨🏻‍⚕️☹️🦠💊

I should note: this NOT autobiographical lmao

Someone exploded a beached whale and then you drive home in the rain

I think it’s just poorly written pseudo-legalese, and it’s intended to mean that he will be unable to enjoy life in the future because of the psychological damage that poor is doing to him (unrealistic expectations and mental harm, et cetera).

While porn addiction and unrealistic ideas of beauty and sex are genuinely real things that happen, the way to prevent that is with frank, open discussions about sex and pornography, not trying to prevent your 14 year old from masturbating. I was a 14 year old boy at one point, and lemme tell you, nothing could stop me from masturbating. Nothing. It’s just not going to happen. Kids will find ways to find porn, and if somehow we completely do away with it entirely (again, won’t happen), they’ll find new ways, and they’ll read and write erotica or get into hentai or whatever. This woman is insane, Kansas is insane, and so are all the other states imposing this bullshit

Ask me this a couple months ago and I’d have opted for freezing me, no question. But I lost my person, and I’ve realized it’s not that I was afraid to die or that I wanted life to go on forever. I wanted the life I had to go on forever. That’s gone now. I’ll opt for the end date on the tin.

Whenever I’m talking to someone in person or over voice chat/on the phone that I know has a strong opinion on the pronunciation of GNOME or GIF, I pronounce it with an initial glottal stop or a sort of “zh” sound (like Zsa Zsa Gabor’s name) and insist that’s how I always pronounce it and it’s the natural pronunciation of it.

Neither a programmer nor from California. I’m a rare southern red

Write, travel

That sounds fun!

As cold as the other people in the house will let me. I have rarely lived anywhere with functioning central heat and air (and have never liked it when I did), so generally I use window units and a cunningly devised system of curtains. I don’t care if a hallway or the bathroom gets hot, so long as the bedroom and kitchen stay cool, y’know?

In the winter I almost never use heating, except for a small space heater I just take room to room with me, and one that I run while in the shower.

It’s the same thing in that both cutting sugar from your diet and living inside a 90°F/32°C box both take all possibility of joy out of your life

If you can afford them (they can be shockingly expensive here in the states!), actual wooden shutters are very attractive and work quite well at cooling a home.

But, if you’d like to keep your view and stay cool, awnings are another option. They keep the window in shade and prevent heat from entering the home nearly as well as just blocking the window, while allowing the window to, y’know, keep on windowing.

If you’re somewhere without a ton of regulation or nosy neighbors, awnings can be made super easily with just some poles and tarps, or even a sheet of plywood depending on how much you care about appearance.

I’ve never played, what do I need to know?