Ok that makes a lot more sense. Thanks for clarifying. We take it one day at a time. Thanks!

Neglect can be intentional or unintentional. Even the most competent parents can and will experience exhaustion, burnout, or just general malaise at one point. There is a very famous article from a few years back about the most loving and well meaning parents who forgot their children in their car seats in summer heat.

To your question about making a connection: this will take time but it will happen. The issue is the first six months is such a whirlwind of tasks to keep this human alive that you hardly have a moment to breathe. It’s like having two full time jobs and going to work. But eventually things start to settle down and routines are developed. And then you spend more time playing with them and the connection starts to build. I’m now playing chess with my eight year old and laughing to Calvin and Hobbes jokes together. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Do look in to if your partner has postpartum. It’s extremely common (including my wife) and is very serious.

As always, my inbox is open.

Cheers

First of all, I want to salute you for reaching out and seeking advice. You are doing the right thing and obviously you are doing your best to step up and be a good father. It also sounds like you have a lot on your plate and are tethering on the edge.

I do question the advice of your friends. You talked to THIRTY people and you were transparent that you didn’t want children and they ALL said you should go ahead with it? I’m sorry. Children are not tamagochis or plants. If any friend ever came to me and so much as hesitated about wanting kids (not flat out indifference or opposition to the concept) I would tell them to pump the breaks. Children are a non-stop commitment.

I have seen WAY too many cases of child neglect and abuse that I’d rather people don’t have children than subject them to the pain I’ve seen.

You’re probably going above and beyond to do your best and applaud you. But I also get the sense that you have a lot on your plate between chores, supporting your partner, and raising a human being! Do you have a support network around you? Grandparents? Can you also seek counseling? I think this is really important. Also postpartum affects men too. It’s real. It can be overwhelming. If you need someone to talk to dm me please. I’m serious.

Best.

I’m a little intrigued and confused by this. You had not one, not two, but THREE kids and you didn’t want any of them? I’m not judging but I’m really confused. Are you doing it to please your partner? Isn’t this a recipe for disaster?

I have a friend that is expecting his FOURTH kid and he’s the same: he never wanted more than two. And he looks miserable ALL THE TIME. Those kids are not going to get the adequate love - I’m sorry just because they have a meal and a roof on their head, that’s not love.

For context: I have two kids. One of them has a disability. The energy it takes to give them love and take care of them is so much esp because of the one with a disability. I would kill myself if I had a third kid. Again. Not judging. I’m just trying to understand

My parent spidey senses are tingling. Besides the ADHD, is there anything else happening in his life? Major life change (changing school; new friends, etc)? He may not feel comfortable vocalizing yet if there is in fact something affecting him

Hey guess what? They pretty have the same minimalist ui. Way to miss the entire point I made

Also, I never mentioned Photoshop. Open any standard drawing app that was developed recently: Procreate, Infinite Paint, Krita, Fresco. Look how straightforward it is to start working. Look at the Ui. It doesn’t get in the way.

Edit: oh no the FOSS evangelists are not feeling it. I get it. I use a lot of FOSS apps for work. That doesn’t mean we have to be evangelical in our defense of FOSS. Recognize there are issues and we can work to fix them. Don’t get so defensive, Lemmy. My god.

Yes, as an artist I will choose the path of least resistance. Open any new drawing app today: Procreate, Infinite Paint, Krita, Fresco and look how clean and easy it is to get right to the point and start working. Now open GIMP and pull my eyelashes out already. The tool should not get in the way of the task. I’m with Steve Jobs on this, sorry. Computers are means to an end. For some they can be hobbies. Linux exists. Have fun.

Edit: oh no! The FOSS evangelists are not feeling it. I get it. I use a lot of FOSS apps for work. That doesn’t mean we have to be evangelical in our defense of FOSS. Recognize there are issues and we can work to fix them. Don’t get so defensive, Lemmy. My god.

If you think Photoshop has anywhere near the learning curve that is GIMP then I’m sorry. There is nothing I can do to convince you and this conversation is dead in the water. If something free was on par even slightly with Photoshop, then a whole industry would have shifted over to avoid the burden of costs. There’s a reason the potato shop UI hasn’t changed in 20 years.

Barf. Or maybe, just maybe, we have other shit to do rather than spend hours trying to figure out how to do one thing in Gimp. It’s great that YOU’RE passionate about tech. Some of us have other hobbies. Imagine that holy shit

It’s on Frontpage CNN and The Guardian.

I’m not trying to scare you, but the 90s was over two decades ago… I know I’m still in denial too

The same point stands. What makes you think the Persians care about Palestinians?

You two are talking past each other. None of what you wrote has any connection to what the other person wrote. In fact, you guys probably don’t disagree about anything. OP is just giving an explanatory description, not a normative essay.

Any chance this just one big psyop? Are these people really this stupid…

I’d be careful with this one. Being verbose in non-fiction does not produce good writing automatically. In my opinion the best writers in the world have an economy of words but are still eloquent and rich in their expression

I promise you, the last thing on the minds of Russian women in this moment is climate change

Already on the way babayyy. Ubuntu gang here we gooooo I know, i know. There are other popular distros but I wanted to start there

How is it possible that tesla is losing sales in markets where EVs are growing? Not a good sign

It’s unreal how good Krita is. The small team behind it has accomplished something amazing.