This is a super common and often unspoken phenomenon for fathers. It took me two years to feel emotionally attached to my first. Those two years sucked. It felt like all work, no reward. I powered through because love is a choice and I love my family. Slowly but surely, it happened. It happens for most of us. Especially as they start taking interests in the things we are interested in. You start seeing yourself in them - their looks and how they behave.

I am 99% sure you’ll end up loving your kids. I have three now. Just power through. You’re FAR from alone. Ask me if you have any questions.

Plexamp is mind blowingly good. Great UX. Perfect reliability. No discovery/ads up in your face. Just you listening to your music how you like it. Streaming is ROCK SOLID. Downloads work flawlessly. It just relies on proper metadata in Plex.

Men had a lot more power and influence than women, and men continue to have a lot more power and influence. That isn’t applying blame. That is indisputable fact. Men as a group are more responsible for gender inequality than women, because men hold more power than women. Again, indisputable fact.

Some men. A minority of men. You’re doing the thing right now. “Men” isn’t a homogenous group, yet you’re clearly placing them into one. Women aren’t a minority group. How would you react if a woman wrote a post here about being raped, and I started discussing matriarchy, and how women, as a group, tend to act. Surely that would be a terrible thing for me to do, yet here you are, doing just that.

You make it clear that this is about attributing blame. You’ve dedicated multiple paragraphs to blaming men as a group. That’s why you won’t give up the gendered language. This isn’t about helping men at all. It’s about blaming them, even though you acknowledge most of them are not responsible. You must see how that foments anger from men, and how you are perpetuating negative stereotypes and animosity by continuing to use such toxic gendered language.

I think it’s fine to claim that the majority of positions of power are held by men. I think it’s wrong to say that “men” are responsible for bad things. If you’re specific about the bad men (or even better, bad people), no problem. If you broadly refer to men when describing toxic behaviour, you’re blaming people who don’t deserve it. Just like one shouldn’t blame “women” or the “matriarchy” for things either. Surely you agree with that?

What I’m reading from your writing is that both men and women in power have and continue to contribute to gender norms, which confine and hurt both men and women. If so, why use gendered language at all? There is much research and theory in sociology and specifically feminist studies about the impact of gendered language. I’m sure you broadly agree that “man up” is hurtful gendered language because it implies men should conform to a specific set of subjective behaviour. Why can you not see that a gendered male term for a toxic and harmful system is if not explicitly harmful, certainly implicitly so? Why not use a gender neutral germ like “structural gender roles” or something else which doesn’t imply blame? Surely this is not the first time a man has told you he feels offended by your use of this word. Why do you not listen and accept the hurt you cause by your continued use of it instead of just using something less offensive?

Unless, of course, you do intend to imply blame. That men are more to blame. That more men hold power, therefore we should use a gendered word to ensure we are clear who is more to blame.

Pointing out that the history of patriarchy enforced toxic masculinity is not accusing men themselves of enforcing it on an individual level, or dismissing rhe role that women played in enforcing these gender divisions.

Well it is, and you’ve laid out the case. If the system in which we currently live is designed for and by men, then a) they have less of a right to complain about their treatment, b) they have some hand in its creation, and c) have a burden to undo it. In fact, most men have no hand in its creation, have every right to complain, and have no burden to undo it. Raising patriarchy in a discussion about issues men face makes no sense unless you are d) allocating blame in some way, e) suggesting that men have a responsibility to fix their own issues, and/or f) ascribing a certain set of toxic behaviour specifically to men. None of those are helpful. None of those are supportive.

The issue is treating men like a homogenous group instead of specifically addressing those in power, who are both men and women.

FYI “patriarchy” is a gendered term which comes from the Latin, originally meaning “church government by patriarchs” (1560s) and later evolved to mean “society or government by elder males” (1630s). Historically, it referred to autocratic rule by men. More recently it has been expanded in feminist theory which broadly ascribes a set of toxic behaviours to men as a group. The problem with this word is that men don’t have a patent on toxic behaviour. It’s often not men telling other men not to cry and to man up, for example. It’s often the women in our lives, and especially our romantic partners. Raising “patriarchy” in this discussion is tantamount to blaming men for the issues they experience, and this is not helpful to anyone. No more than suggesting rape victims are also victims of the “matriarchy.” If you understand how offensive that might seem to you, you might understand how offensive your comment can be to men.

My kids keep life interesting and spicy. They keep my perspective of myself, my community, and the world grounded in reality. They don’t give me time to doom scroll. They make sure I remain present and can still laugh at a good fart. 10/10. Would have the little farters again.

Docker isn’t hard if you use a compose file. It’s easy to read syntax.

This is giving me “yaml isn’t hard to use if you use a compose file!” It is, actually. It’s easy for you because you understand the technology. The vast majority of people do not.

One does not need an internet connection for offline use. Check this if you’re having issues.

One does not need to pay for multiple user accounts. As per this update, they are actually removing the one-time fee for non family member mobile apps. Now it’s all free, provided the server owner has a Plex Pass.

Plex has been supporting hardware transcoding since 2017.

To be clear, I’m not saying Jellyfin is bad. I think it’s great to have competition and I understand plenty of people like it.

I feel like I’m getting more than what I paid for. I understand it was a legal contractual exchange. I’m merely commenting on the value I’ve received relative to what I paid. Especially given the continued improvements over time.

I’m seeing a lot of negativity but I think they offer a great service and deserve to be paid for their work. I bought a lifetime pass many years ago and I almost feel guilty how much value I have received over that time.

It’s the setup which doesn’t pass the “wife” test. The more setup friction, the lower the likelihood that average users will bother. It requires a very easy setup experience to retain the average user. Even us technical people have limited time in the day. If I get a similar experience out of both Plex and Jellyfin, I’m going with the software which is easier to set up. Most of us are at that point in our lives where we’ll pay for convenience.

They kept jacking up the prices and making the streaming services worse so I finally pulled the plug and went offline. It’s a pain in the ass, to be honest, but once it’s all set up it’s really quite nice. The only long term issue is discoverability. I feel a bit like I’m stuck with the music I have now and discovering new music and listening to it is such a hassle that I just don’t do it. That said, I no longer pay for streaming, and I like what I have, so I’m not complaining.

I can strongly recommend Plexamp, which integrates well into an existing Plex setup.

Lidarr is a great complement to an existing Arr stack. And if you’re going to host your own music, you might as well look at Sonarr and Radarr, which are so great.

I agree. I am forced to use dockers with Unraid and I really don’t like them. For me, the benefits are very limited compared to the extra hassle. I think they have become so popular on Linux because they sidestep so many issues related to distro fragmentation. This is yet another example of how the “freedom” of Linux prevents long term innovation and general OS improvements. Especially in terms of UX.

I hope these comments make it clear to you that there’s never any off ramp for the “eat the rich” ideology. Once they’ve eaten the very rich, they go after the next cohort, and the next. It’s about pulling everyone down to the lowest level. We have repeatedly demonstrated this many times in many countries over the last century. It always ends in many deaths and fascism. The solution to that is free association, free commerce, and democracy. Individual liberty has plenty of drawbacks, but it’s far better than all of the alternatives we have tried.

The judge would immediately shut that down for creative avoidance. This is an order to sell, not break up. The DOJ specifically indicated behavioural remedies in this case, meaning Google must not remain in control of Chrome.

Most male computer uses watch porn and would not want an AI to log that. Many women find porn sickening and don’t understand it and will never understand male urges that result in watching it. The fact that this got into a finished product tells you a lot about Microsoft’s corporate culture.

Excellent point. We saw exactly the same phenomenon play out with Google and Gemini. The tool created racially diverse Nazis. Even a few minutes with the tool revealed major issues. There must have been hundreds of people who witnessed the slow moving train crash in realtime, but were either unwilling or unable to speak out. I think these companies have clearly cultivated a hierarchical culture of fear and intimidation. I recently left a job in which my manager was ex-Google. The stories she would tell were appalling. Her command-and-control style was, frankly, disgusting. She permitted zero critical feedback or discussion. It was her way or “fuck off.” I found that very instructive as to how these companies have morphed into shells of their formers selves. I’m not bullish on the future of these companies. They’re coasting very well on the fumes of their historical successes, and I think their demise is all but assured.

Yeah the concept is pretty damn cool. It’s just horrifying to have a company own and control that data. I suspect this is like Xbox One launch disaster in 2013, in which Microsoft initially required all consoles to have an always-online connection. People rebelled, but today and certainly on our current trajectory, it now looks like Microsoft was just a little ahead of the curve. I think people will eventually become a lot more comfortable with companies owning their data because the benefits will be so enormous. I’m not happy about that future, but I think I understand it.

Google is on a tear. First Bard, then Gemini, now snippets injected into search results. All spectacular failures.

It’s not like the technology is a con. Brain implants have been iterated upon for decades. This is just the latest incarnation - after extensive animal testing. I don’t think we have a right to tell a quadriplegic they may not meaningfully improve their lives because we feel the risk is too high. They’re locked in a living prison.