I see what you did there.

I have house Crocs, does that count?

I have one of those. Banging on crap at 11pm, revving his Harley at 5am, has a rooster. Fun times.

Growing up is overrated. This is gold.

Bought a Hyper X headset when I was drunk one time. Solid purchase, still have it 8 years later. Only stopped using it because I wanted wireless.

IDK about anyone else, but I call it the legbutt.

You don’t use any rotation? Next you’re going to tell me that spinners aren’t supposed to be spun.

What a coincidence, a game friend was just talking about receiving some high end perfume as a gift from her son and she was disappointed that it smelled like soap.

I’ve always thought about celebrating Arbor Day like that episode of Raising Hope. Yes, it’s primarily so I can talk about Poppa Woody.

Looks about right for an Adobe/Microsoft software package.

Whoops!

From what I understand, some mental health meds take a couple weeks to see results.

Reading comprehension FAIL!

I once got 29 in cribbage, then it was mostly 19s the rest of the game.

It’s sad to see people who want a bad boy/girl and just end up in a toxic relationship. It’s possible to find someone who is badass AND willing to treat you with respect, but they are not common. It takes way too long for people to realize that the gentler person is going to lead to a better relationship in the long run.

Firewatch is a must buy at $2. Great story. The Forest at $2 is great to grab for you and a few friends who like to play survival games and don’t mind some gore.

That encountering quick sand in real life was a real possibility every day.

Bonus: My kid doesn’t believe that Santa is magical, he just has really advanced technology.

If you like malapropisms, you’ll love Martha Plimpton’s character in Raising Hope, Virginia. Procrasturbate and vaginacologist are a couple favorites.

Bonus: her middle name is Slims. Virginia Slims Chance

My older sister hosted a Japanese exchange student when I was in high school. I learned a few words, but he was a regular teenager who barely knew English. We did crush a bucket of chocolate chip cookies in one weekend camping trip.

After he left, I found out his parents forced him into the exchange program so they could get a break. He seemed alright to me.

Amanda Lynn, unless you like musical instruments.

The penises were not because of the sewer backup, it’s just what you expected to see everyday. Edited the original post to clarify.

There was one study hall where a penis was drawn on the chalkboard every day. One time, the art showed the ejaculate dribbling a bit. The teacher came in, looked at it, shrugged, said “at least it’s a little more accurate,” erased it, and sat down.